Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Show not tell 1:

Tell: The wizard was ugly and evil. The people of the town were terrified of him. He enjoyed threatening them, especially the children. He was cruel and greedy

Show: Merlin looked down at the townsfolk disgustedly, laughing at their misfortune. It was the night of Halloween, the favorite holiday of some children, but also for Merlin. He loved dressing up as himself, so he could scare children away by offering spiders instead of candy. He would use his bony fingers to zap away the angry parents. "Happy Halloween you little snot rags," Merlin would scream, as he shoos the children away with spiders and a life size grim reaper robot that chases them out the gate. He would then keep the candy that children drop while scampering away from the castle.

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