Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Show don't tell 3:

Tell: The hero was strong and handsome. He was admired by the townspeople. He was brave and wished to help those in need.

Show: "Hahaha," Jones chuckled as he listened to the jokes the small children had told him. Jones was dancing in the hospital ward, trying to uplift the spirits of the sick and injured family that he had saved a few days earlier from a burning fire. A few frightful days earlier, a family of 7 were enjoying a home-cooked meal when one of their pans had caught on fire. Jones had just arrived home from saving a cat trapped in a tree, and was casually playing Solitaire when he suddenly heard the plea for help from the family. He immediately grabbed his bike and rode with all his might to the incinerating house. He dialed 000, and while the fire brigade was coming, Jones fearlessly broke down the singed door and tried to find some moving life. He had found the 3 girls, one lying unconscious, one clinching her teddy bear, and the other was trying to get her puffer into her mouth. Jones immediately grabbed the two girls that were still partially conscious, and the unconscious girl was swung onto his broad shoulders. He had successfully taken them out of the collapsing house. He tried to look for the two boys and parents. He could hear the fire brigade rushing down the street, but Jones knew he couldn't just leave them inside. Jones saw a locked door right next to where the girls were. He couldn't hear any movement or chatter. Jones tried to break down the door, but it didn't budge. He tried several times and finally succeeded. He saw the two boys, lying face down. He put both boys on his shoulders and were heading to the door until an alit beam blocked the doorway. Jones tried to break the beam, but it didnt work the first time. He was becoming light-headed, but he was determined to get the boys out. After a few attempts,he broke through, and laid the boys next to their sisters. "We will take it from here mate. Thanks," One of the firemen said to Jones. Jones was in the newspaper for the heroic act, and the parents of the children were wanting to give him a reward for what he had done, but Jones generously declined.

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